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Three words that describe men: (9,417 reads)
By CAZ
Three words that describe men:
Submissive, Assertive, Agressive.
Your so-called Wussies are the Submissive's, your Jerks are the Agressive's and the men we are attracted to are the Assertive's. It's that simple.
We do NOT want to be able to walk all over you nor do we want to be walked over. We want to walk with you.
We want someone who can hold a conversation, have an opinion, while still holding the door open as we walk through. Forget the car door- the women of today don't need that anymore. We like you paying for the first and maybe second but forget paying for the third date- you either go halves or it's her turn to pay.
Okay so maybe I'm shooting in the dark here because this article is the first I've read so far but surely you can see my point is made far more easily than your wussies analogy....
And plus here's something else that you may not have worked out because you're one of them but the way I see it is you guys can't function above 1 rule/ guideline at one time. For example, the footy is on and you know you aren't supposed to have your dirty socks up on the lounge room table nor have your beer on that same table without a coaster (it leaves rings that are hard to remove) but you can bet that when your team scores your feet instantly hit the floor and that at the same time your beer hits the non-coastered table and then when play resumes the beer goes back in your hand and you sit down with feet back up on the table- therefore you are abiding to one rule at a time (forgetting that you're also breaking one too).
So here are the two rules that I think men of today can safely abide by and break at the same time:
1. Have a opinion. Say what you think without being patronizing, antagonistic or sexist. A man who has an intellect but doesn't act like a know-it-all will always win points.
2. Be subtle when using gentlemanly gestures, like opening the door for a lady, without it being obvious that that's what you're actually doing. The key to this one though is the word SUBTLE!
Like I said above car doors are out, red roses are too- do some research and work out what her favourite flowers are if you must buy her flowers, and heaven forbid if they are red roses remember to be subtle, one is enough as long as it's presented nicely.
I love gentlemen and hate rude behaviors...that's an absolute one for me. I
love to be treated like a lady. A man that can't do that to me is not a
man.
Sus
If more women were like you Sus we'd know the rules of interaction. We
aren't sure of what these rules are anymore.
We don't know what the rules are anymore. I like that artcle because it's
so true today.
A lot of woman, in the begiining just want to be called your friend. Woman today freak out at the word girlfriend/boyfriend.
I think most woman want a gentleman, just not some clingy-needy fellow.
That's funny about the red roses - My gal would barf if I bought her red roses. Tulips!!!! They are subtle!!!
Bob [wwlidman@juno.com]
CAZ - From what I've heard elsewhere, there are only a few reasons why a
woman will ever pay for a date:
1) The guy was slick enough to con her into picking up the tab. Highly unlikely but still possible.
2) She doesn't want to see him ever again. Very likely.
or...
3) She is on a lesbian date. Sorry, but this seems to be the most surefire way for a woman to pay for the date.
Tommy
what hapened top equality ,why should the guy pay for the first 2 dates? is
that the payment for sex on the third date?
why should the guy open any
door?what kind of double standarts are these?
rod
We are really a 'blend' of Submissive, Assertive, Agressive, or Wussy,
Assertive, Jerk.
Rod - These are just small examples of double standards imposed on males by
females.
Tommy
"Real ladies' deserve to be treated as such. Sadly, many women who expect
men to be gentlemen to them and who expect the "romantic red carpet", do
not deserve it because they have no honor.
Also,
Ali..Great post. I agree with what you said because people tend to make-up
rules that they themselves cannot follow and expect other people to fall in
line. forget that.I might disagree with you though about treating a "white
washed whore as you say, like a queen. I would: if there was something that
would benefit me from doing that.You never know who she might know that
could be of use to you and treating some people with contempt can sometimes
backfire on you-causing you to loose great opportunities.
Rob,
Ali..As Machiavelli says:Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
As for your "whitewashed whores:personally, I would just sit back, be quiet
and observe the people around me,eventually their true natures will reveal
themselves.You deal with them as thus...there's something useful(even
hidden) or beneficial to you under most manure piles....would you agree?
Natalie Cole said it best in song when dealing with the opposite sex, "I'm
catchin hell." This is the way that certain men feel when they go through
this kind of thing. Many women spew out of their mouths and keyboards that
they want a man to treat a woman like a woman should be treated. She wants
to be pampered, loved, cared for, spent on, and etc.-etc.-etc. But the
outlining fact is what is it for him? As for me, i'm lucky if I get even a
response from a woman when it comes to this ill shyt. They want a man to be
chilverous and when women show no gratitude or anything for it, us men are
just supposed to accept it? Then they wonder why we are so angry about it.
How would a woman feel if she slaved over a hot stove, clean the house, and
did all this and her man didn't SHOW !shyt! of gratitude and humbleness to
her for caring that she tried to make that house a home, would she still
feel the same as she always does when she does it to him on dates? Of
course not. Because to many of the woman out here, that's what a man is
supposed to do. A man is supposed to pay for a woman and half the time just
take it if she doesn't feign any type of affection (as a thank you) or a
simple "thanks. I had a great time." This is the old school train of
thought. *SMH*. Then, when you got a craptacular look on your face and they
look at you like what is the problem, that's when you get in her ass about
the shyt, if it bothers you. If it doesn't, then just keep being used and
having all your money and time spent and pay for it in the end. But if it
does bother you, take it from somebody that's going through this, it's not
wise to try to do nice things for someone that you feel doesn't deserve it
based on how she treats you and the relationship. Those are my two cents on
it. If you excuse me, I gotta get back to my rum and coke and my best of
Stevie Ray Vaughn.
Why are there so many rules in the first place? What happend to being
yourself. I agree that you should treat a lady the way she deserves, but i
don't agree with the whole "agreeing to disagree" statements. So your going
to comprimise on your own standards and beliefs to make her feel good? I
don't think that is right. It is so confusing, i don't even know how to act
on dates anymore, because i'm scared that they aren't going to like me for
me. I'm too busy trying to become what society, and they want me to be
rather than just being me. Please offer some input.
>>Why are there so many rules in the first place? What happend to
being yourself.<<
Ali I agree with your above comments. Women want it all and they want it
both ways while never putting any effort into the situation. They want
everything all at once. Men are suppose to be great conversationalist. You
ask a woman a question and you either get the "What do you mean by that" or
my favorite, blank stares and head nods. All the action is put on the man
and the woman feels that showing up is enough. Men are romantic, women are
not. Men need to bring flowers, open doors and try and figure out what she
wants without ever asking questions. Meaning a woman wants to be tricked
into a relationship. Logic does not play a role when it comes to women.
Women never bring flowers or remember things that are important to the man.
It's all about them 24 - 7. Women think men are stupid and we need them
otherwise we will die. Ask any man who gets married and see how the woman
treats him after the ring is put on her finger. An simple example about
woman thought was on a TV show about women getting dates. One woman
actually said this about her date "He told he really liked me and wanted to
see me again, What did he mean by that?" This is how a so many women think.
You can never be honest or forthright with a woman. It will fail every time
or you become the friend also known as her emotional tampon. She wants
mystery and confusion and indifference. Women really do make up the rules
as they go. Everything is a test with a woman. There shouldn't be rules. If
two people like each other and get along then why question it every second
to see if the other person is cheating or lying. Women make there fears
come true with this behavior and play games nobody can win.
I don't believe in conventional dating. It doesn't really tell you much
about the person you're with unless they're a conventional person, in which
case I won't be seeing them more than once. I try not to let a guy spend
money on me if he considers the meeting a date. Some of them insist, but
they only succeed if they're quicker on the draw than I am, which isn't
very often.
You women need to realize there are two types of jerks...
What they fantasize about is what they want, deep down. Who are we to tell
them to want anything different? Let them chase their waterfalls if that's
what they want. Meanwhile you can go find yourself a quality woman who
actually has some sense who you can build a life and a family with and be
happy together. And at the end we'll see who smiles and who cries.
Truthsayer, as a counselor, I am curious about how people get screwed up,
but in mate selection, I have no attraction to people I pity.
Weak/substandard is weak/substandard, and I don't give a flying fart how
they got that way. They're not getting near me.
I think I might have found him, but time will tell whether he'll be able to
resist the pressure to conform.
*
THE RULES:
This sense of superiority is the basis of the mindset that they use to
degrade, dehumanize, chastise, criticize, mistreat, abuse and change men.
Truthsayer, on the contrary, I'm not trying to change him. I wouldn't be
shagging him if I wasn't attracted to him (as he is).
" I don't take it personally that some people just aren't going to fit. I
just move on with my eyes on the prize."
I was a nice guy. I suppose you'd call me a wussy for that? Maybe a former
wussy? As it stands now, I'm so angry and pissed off by the way women
treated me that I'm really not that nice anymore.
I've abandoned dating entirely, personality has always taken a back seat to
the physical features in one's own possession. No matter how personable,
assertive, interesting, etc. etc. you are the real roadblock is the way, at
least for me, is the way you look. And you're right in your column, women
shouldn't be blamed for what they like physically. I certainly don't blame
them, it's just not everyone gets to pick the right numbers in the genetic
lottery.
Were things always this F'd up? Were they better in the past? Part of the
problem is that women keep changing the rules. I remember a time when women
wanted to be women, then they wanted to be men (many feminists have big
balls), now they want to be some combination of the two, and the various
combinations differ per woman.
By the way, if the OP thinks 3 words can describe all types of men, then I
can describe her with one word, "simpleton". Men (and women) aren't that
simple. If we were, there'd be no need for psychologists and pyschology, or
sociology, or any number of other big words that don't fit your simple
view.
Seriously the first part about guys having there own thoughts and not just
agreeing all the time... that's right!!! BUT... if a guy opens the car door
for me and gets me red roses then he's gonna get a lot of points! AND if he
doesn't he'll be gone after 2 months!!! why settle for a guy who won't give
you all that, if you can get a guy that can!!! im not stupid!
In this day and age of technological change and economic depressions, women
have become an independent lot, who fight for their own rights. I think
that men should be chivalrous, but in a subtle 21st century kind of way.
Like you so perfectly articulated in your article. It's the truth, women
these days find exaggerated chivalry something that should have been left
in the dark ages.
Hey there 'digeeU dating', it sound like women are suffering from Cognitive
Dissonance.
I do agree with the poster that women are far more likely to be attracted
to an assertive guy.
I agree about paying on the third date or doing halves. It makes me sort of
uncomfortable to always have the guy shelling out cash, especially if I'm
making more than him! (*gasp*).
