The Chemistry of Attraction in the Brain

The question is what do you do when sexual attraction wears off? It's inevitable that PEA in the brain will wear off and those tingly feelings will fade. What is happing now is that people divorce when the brain chemistry fades. By that time there are usually children involved. I think we somehow need to work on increasing the 25% of successful relationships to a higher number. Even 35% would be a step in the right direction. I've heard a few women say they could fall in love with a guy friend. After the chemistry fades there needs to be some bonding holding the relationship together. Or maybe we shouldn’t expect relationships to last at all? Maybe it’s all about a series of monogamous relationships and love is really a myth? Is twenty five percent the best we can do? And, many people are addicted to those feelings which chemistry creates. This causes them to seek more partners.

About PEA: In the early stages of a new relationship your bodies are flooded with the love hormone PEA.

Levels of PEA subside after a while - if they didn't nobody would ever get any work done. But you can start losing interest in sex.

Then real life starts getting in the way - children, or work, or general exhaustion. And it's common to find your partner somewhat less devastating than you did at first once you are used to their snoring, duvet-stealing ways.

Whereas going to bed once signalled a passionate encounter between the sheets, now it simply means getting a good night's sleep.

Forget that old phrase "head over heels." Now it's "heels over hypothalamus." Turns out, love isn't blind; it's chemically induced. Here's a short list of the culprits:

Testosterone: We're all familiar with this one (couldn't write those alpha males without it). The hormone, produced in both men and women, regulates sexual desire.

Phenylethylamine: PEA is a neurotransmitter released by a region of the brain called the hypothalamus. Theresa Crenshaw, M.D., author of The Alchemy of Love and Lust, (Pocket Books; 1997) calls PEA "the molecule of love". It plays a part in the "falling in love" stage accompanied by feelings of euphoria. But PEA doesn't work alone when you are attracted to someone.

Dopamine: May be involved in the "attention-getting" phase of attraction, signaling the brain that a potential reward, in this case a love interest, is nearby and helping focus your attention on that person. Its release in the brain makes people more talkative and excitable and is a factor in attention deficit disorder.

Serotonin: Closely associated with the control of moods, which everyone knows can fluctuate drastically in the process of falling in love. Used in anti-depressant medications. May be a factor in violent behavior and thrill seeking.

Norepinephrine: Gets your blood racing and primes you for action. As part of the "fight or flight" response, this neurotransmitter is flooding your heroine's brain when she faces the hero and wonders if she should kiss him or kill him.

Tragically, the effects of PEA seem to have a time limit. Researchers estimate the decay rate of the neurotransmitter at between 18 months and five years, which may explain why many relationships end in that time period. But all is not lost when PEA is. Evidence suggests that a second biochemical reaction can start which helps couples bond and form long-term attachments.

Oxytocin: Long known to play a role in childbirth and breastfeeding in women, this hormone may also influence bonding between adults. A female prairie vole (prairie voles are monogamous — a story of true and everlasting love in the animal kingdom) when given oxytocin and then shown a male will pick out and bond with that specific male even when placed in a cage containing many males. Females deprived of oxytocin will not bond at all. Both men and women release oxytocin at the moment of sexual orgasm, suggesting that it might be involved in strengthening the bond between couples. Another hormone, vasopressin, seems to have a similar effect on male prairie voles.

No discussion of chemicals in love would be complete without mentioning chocolate. We've all heard that the quality of fats in dark chocolate triggers the brain's production of natural opiates. Which explains why we "self medicate" with chocolate when we are in a bad mood. In a recent study, researchers identified three compounds in chocolate that enhance a feeling of well-being. One of the compounds, anandamide, is a cannabinoid and activates the same receptors in the brain as the active ingredient in marijuana, creating a mini-high from chocolate. The other two compounds, which in pot smoking induce "the munchies", increase a person's appetite, explaining my inability to eat just one Dove chocolate. The researchers are investigating whether the compounds can be refined to use against depression and anorexia.

Human's don't produce enough PEA to stay in love very long. Just long enough to reproduce. How's that warm your heart? Prairie voles have enough PEA to remain together and faithful for a life time.

PEA is the procreation hormone not the love hormone

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