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  • Updated: 27 Nov 2009
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Research explores how women choose men 1602

posted Thu, 10/23/08

Females chose mates –

"A man can have the best women he can afford."

Females preferences for males who had good financial prospects, were older than themselves, had higher social status,

Women value economic resources substantially more than men do.

Women had higher standards regarding financial prospects at all stages of a relationship

Women desire men, who are high in terms of social status,

Women consistently express a preference for mates who have a high-status profession

Socioeconomic status of the male had a large influence on the female responses at all levels of intimacy

Highest status males were able to offset unattractiveness.

Research shows that male status is more important than attractiveness.

Age is an important factor here as older males are significantly more likely to have achieved a sound economic and financial state than younger, inexperienced males

Increasing age also confers social dominance and higher social status.

Women pay close attention to how men interact with, and are treated by other men.

Example: A jock mistreating a geek causes the woman to go for the jock and be repulsed by the geek.

Height: Height is associated with power and status and studies have shown that height confers economic and social advantages as taller men are more likely to be hired, receive higher salaries, and gain promotion than smaller men.

Socially, people tend to overestimate the height of individuals who are of high status

Taller men are perceived as being more dominant and we would predict that females should choose taller over shorter males

Bachelors are significantly shorter than married men are

Males with facial hair are rated as being more masculine, strong, potent, dominant and courageous,

Male pattern baldness evolved as a signal of aging and social maturity whereby aggression and risk-taking decrease and nurturing behaviors increase.

Baldness was associated with less attractiveness

Males with a high shoulder-to-hip ratio (SHR) reported having sex at an earlier age, had more sexual partners, and more extrapair copulation

Certain sports (boxing, wrestling, fencing, martial arts) also provide accurate information as to how a male would fare in a genuine fight thus are more attractive to women. It’s the importance of sexual display attracts the most women.

Women whose partners have low FA fluctuating asymmetry report more orgasms than those whose partners have high FA fluctuating asymmetry

This is how women objectify men.

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The purpose of this site is to allow you to express how you feel. It’s not to determine whom is right or wrong.


1. Dave left...
Tue, 12/06/05 4:22 pm

The Beatles, "Can't buy me love." But apparently they were wrong. Or, were they?

I suspect that the majority of women are as described above but very likely not all.

Can a woman really fall in love with him because of his social status. Is this the way nature has wired women’s instincts?

Why has nature created so many beta and omega males?


2. Ali left...

I think they can sometimes fall in love with what you can do for them, or your potential to provide great things for them and their children in the future. They then tell themselves things like "I can learn to love him". Which is exactly the kind of thing that gets said in arranged marriages. So that's basically what these business deal type marriages are underneath it all...arranged. Love is an afterthought at best and sometimes never really develops at all...no wonder people do the things they do in marriages. It's a recipe for almost guaranteed dysfunction and unhappiness, and people are quick to blame their partner and everybody including the man in the moon but they also need to look at their mindset going into the relationship.


3. Dave left...
Wed, 12/07/05 9:07 am

Women Fall in Love With a Man’s Potential

Do you pride yourself on your ability to "bring out the best in a man"?

Have you ever told yourself that, with a little time and work, "the man you love will become just what you want him to be"?

Have you ever felt that the reason your man hasn’t become as successful as he wants to be is that he hasn’t had anyone to "really love and support him" that is until you came along.

Are you an expert at finding men in need, and focusing much of your time and energy on "helping them, fixing them? Do you avoid your own career, your own dreams by attempting to rescue him. And he didn’t want to change in the first place. He feels bad that you won’t love him just as he is.

You aren’t in love with the man as he actually is—you are in love with his potential.

Having a healthy relationship with a man means loving him for who he is now, and not loving him in spit of who he is today, or in hopes of who he will be tomorrow.

Barbara DeAngelis


4. Charley left...
Sun, 04/22/07 1:32 pm

Sex can be purchased. Love cannot be purchased. However, I do think money can at least make the downpayment on love. There's an old saying, "No money, no honey." Not entirely true, but a some truth in it, as sick and sad as that is.


5. Ç£L£$tÏå-ÎñçøgÑîTø left...
Sun, 04/22/07 1:38 pm

Money is a factor as I said about my ideal man "Is A Good Provider" (so if I am on materity leave I do not have to worry about the finances)...I do expect myself to have a job and contribute though I do not want to be supporting some unemployed bum hasn't the ambition to even pump gas.


6. Charley left...
Mon, 04/30/07 12:19 am

I think we were referring to a working guy with a low income vs working guy with medium income vs. guy with high income. I don't think anyone was comparing a chronically unemployed guy to those other type guys. With all due respect.


7. Mamasan left...
Mon, 04/30/07 8:21 am

As some of you are already aware, for the first six years of my life, my dad was my motherer. He was (and still is on the side) a jazz musician, who studied history in university, and would have become a teacher when my brother and I were school aged, had it not been for the pressure from my mom to "get a real job".

Though he performed faboulously in military service, I think he was a better house-husband than he ever was a soldier. I loved having him at home, and my brother would have as well. When we were afraid for a time that our parents would divorce, we decided together that if this happenned, we were going with dad.

Some men were not built to leave their kids behind during their first years. A man can be as manly as you can imagine, and still be the nurturing type who would rather be at home. Then there are the musicians, philosophers, and artists whose work just happens to be at home except at nights and weekends or something, like my dad.

These guys aren't too concerned about making alot of money. That's not where their internal power base is. They're the bass player of your favorite local punk band, and the TA of your chemistry professor or your kid's 4th grade teacher. They're happy if they've made enough in a year to cover their tuition, pay the rent of their studio apartment, their bus pass, and to keep a supply of macaroni and cheese and catsup.

No, they're not financially stable, but most of them I've encountered are very mentally and emotionally stable. Too many of them are basically sexually active monks because many women they meet will shag them because they're interesting and smart, but very few consider them long term material. They get used to this after awhile, and a good many around the age of 26 or so, start proactively rejecting long term relationships. They don't want to go there and get put down.

In my opinion, the male-as-provider thing is far too materially based. Part of providing is being resourceful. If someone can't recognize the resourcefulness of a guy who lives on very little for the sake of pursuing knowledge or for his art, then maybe they're not worth grieving over being rejected by.


8. Tommy left...
Mon, 04/30/07 10:56 am

Mamasan -

In the mid-1990s, I used to hear this phrase from some women on television: "Romance without finance is a noo-sance!"

(That's the way these particular women pronounced nuisance.)

Anyway, this phrase could be interpreted in one of two ways:

(a) The woman who says it is emphasizing the importance of financial stability in a relationship. After all, the overwhelming majority of break-ups and divorces are the result of financial problems. And of course, marriages were (for millenia) business transactions.

and...

(b) The woman making the comment could be a high-maintenace gold-digger.

Would you provide your thoughts on this comment?


9. Mamasan left...
Mon, 04/30/07 1:07 pm

Tommy, that saying actually came from way back...the 20's in some blues songs I believe.

Usually, the meaning depends on the woman. In a relationship that could lead to baby making, at least one of the partners has to bring in enough income to support them. This doesn't always have to be the male, but many women would like it to be.


10. Charley left...
Mon, 04/30/07 7:15 pm

I recently met a woman who flirted during our first meeting. During our second meeting she started by flirting, but soon turned to asking me questions that were in fact an interview. They were similar type questions that a lender would ask me if I were applying for a loan. Seriously. Draw your own conclusions.


11. Ali left...
Mon, 04/30/07 9:07 pm

Did she have a shovel and a prospector's permit too? lol.

THEMS GOLD IN THEM THAR HILLS!


12. Tommy left...
Tue, 05/01/07 10:07 am

Ali -

LOL


13. Ali left...
Tue, 05/01/07 12:16 pm

Dave - I found an interesting article, not sure if this is the best thread for it but please find an appropriate home for it:

The Price of Condi's loyalty to Bush: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18368744/site/newsweek/

quote: "Bush was also a bad boy. And Rice, according to friends and family, had a thing for bad boys."


14. rod left...
Sat, 06/07/08 12:49 pm

the facial hair is defenetly true from my own experience,the longer my beard gets the more women hit on me ,all i have to do now is ride my motorcycle to starbucks and hangout.


15. nafis left...
Sun, 06/08/08 11:22 pm

This site is not totally true!!!!! Who ever wrote this needs to pay attention to men and women more. First of all, it doesn't matter how tall a guy is. And women dont always choose tall men over short men. Think about it, we should know that most women want a man thats a least 6'0 and over. A woman may want a tall guy but if he doesnt have certain assets that she's looking for, she will leave. Now if a short guy came her way and he has those assets, most likely she will want him, regardless of his height. And short men can be dominant in social status as well. Also it may be true that tall men make more money than short men but short men could make as much too. They could own their own business or have a high paying job or something. Women who only go for men that are over 6'0 usally have a hard time finding a mate. because #1, she's picky. Thats why its important for a woman to choose a male that likes him for who he is instead of what he has. Second of all, masculinity in males are different. Just because a male has facial hair, doesnt mean he's strong , potent and dominant. There are tons of men that come across as needy and clingy to a woman, which is unattractive. Im saying that males come in many different ways. Clase closed.


16. Ali left...
Mon, 06/09/08 12:23 am

Naftis - I think they were talking about preferences. I.e. if all other things were equal does height matter? I think if a woman prefers taller men and it comes down to height then obviously that is what she will go for if everything else is roughly similar between the guys. If you're shorter you have to have something the taller guy doesn't have, and it has to be something the woman values or holds in high regard. However if a different taller guy comes along and has that very same thing...then it becomes a situation where HE has something you don't. And women with no sense of loyalty will leave for the next big thing.


17. D J left...
Mon, 06/09/08 10:56 pm

"This site is not totally true!!!!!"

Signs of intelligent life.


18. Emily left...
Thu, 10/23/08 2:47 pm :: http://www.onlinedatingtutorials.com/

I would agree with majority of statements in the article.


19. Coruscant left...
Thu, 08/06/09 7:36 am

Reading things like this made my disgust for the females even bigger... is there a "race" on the Earth that is so selfish and calculating more than human females? I sincerely doubt that.


20. DJ left...
Thu, 08/06/09 11:11 am

"... is there a "race" on the Earth that is so selfish and calculating more than human females? "

Yeah, because you are always hearing on the news about women who go on shooting sprees killing and injuring dozens of people because they are irrationally angry with just ONE person.

Give me a fucking break.


21. The Good Guy left...
Thu, 08/06/09 1:18 pm

"Yeah, because you are always hearing on the news about women who go on shooting sprees killing and injuring dozens of people because they are irrationally angry with just ONE person."

He was irrationaly angry with "30 million" american women, as he put it on his blog.

There is no excuse for what this cowardly idiot in Pittsburgh, PA did. My heart goes out to the victims and their families.

But, like a lot of men in this country he was in despair over the fact that nearly all american women were not a good match for him.

The sad thing is if he had just gone to www.blossoms.com (where the REAL women are), he could have found his soulmate and none of this would have happened.


22. The Good Guy left...
Thu, 08/06/09 1:22 pm

"Yeah, because you are always hearing on the news about women who go on shooting sprees killing and injuring dozens of people because they are irrationally angry with just ONE person."

He was irrationaly angry with "30 million" american women, as he put it on his blog.

There is no excuse for what this cowardly idiot in Pittsburgh, PA did. My heart goes out to the victims and their families.

But, like a lot of men in this country he was in despair over the fact that nearly all american women were not a good match for him.

The sad thing is if he had just gone to www.blossoms.com (where the REAL women are), he could have found his soulmate and none of this would have happened.


23. Sophie left...

As much as we hate to admit it, we are driven by our reptilian brains and survival wiring. Nature doesn't care about political correctness; it only cares that we reproduce and continue. It makes sense for a woman to be interested in a man's financial status and how good a provider he'll be for potential children and how much he can protect her.

All of you guys are complaining about women being golddiggers blah blah blah.

But men judge women on their looks and ability to bear and look after children. Plain women just don't get the same kind of attention of good looking ones. Older women become invisible to men. This is the equivalent of women preferring richer men. Which is why women over a certain age will find it harder to attract a man than a younger woman.

Why is choosing a woman for her looks any different than a woman choosing a man for his financial ability? Both sexes have their priorities and preferences based on continuing the species and ensuring that it survives.

And these aspects drive us on much more than we'd like to admit. We cloak these things in romantic terms, but ultimately they are our real drivers. However, better to be honest about what is really driving you and learn how to align it with your higher needs for love and connection. As humans we're driven by seemingly conflicting needs. The need to survive (find the good looking young woman or the financially stable man) but also the need to connect with others which transcends those survival requirements.

Is it beyond us to acknowledge these needs and integrate them rather than seeing them as separate?


24. DJ left...
Thu, 08/06/09 8:04 pm

"But, like a lot of men in this country he was in despair over the fact that nearly all american women were not a good match for him. "

I knew before I even read what you posted that you would find a way to blame this cowardly psychos act on American women. I look at all the men on the blossoms website and I know if they couldn't purchase a young girl to enslave then they too most likely would end up like this man. Reading excerpts from his blog he seemed like a horrible human being with a sense of entitilement. It is no surprise that like minded people would side with him. It's EVERYONE ELSE'S fault but his own, gee where have I heard that sentiment before?


25. DJ left...
Thu, 08/06/09 8:10 pm

No matter how angry or with how many people NOBODY has the right to take human life like that. You are a sick individual TGG to even attempt to try to rationalize why this man committed the cowardly act that he did. It's frightening to know that a man like that would have fit right in on this blog.


26. The Good Guy left...
Thu, 08/06/09 9:00 pm

"I knew before I even read what you posted that you would find a way to blame this cowardly psychos act on American women."

D.J., you obviously missed what I wrote so I will repeat it for you:

"There is no excuse for what this cowardly idiot in Pittsburgh, PA did. My heart goes out to the victims and their families. "

What part of this statement did you not understand?


27. DJ left...
Fri, 08/07/09 10:48 am

"My heart goes out to the victims and their families. "

Like I said, give me a fucking break. The victims were American women. Any other time these women would be considered whores and less than the dirt beneath your feet. But when a psychopath takes his hatred too far, hatred that echoes some of the sentiments expressed by you and other like-minded men, then all of a sudden "your heart goes out to the victims and their families". If these women were the subject of an innocent story about the gym, you'd label them whores who are probably fat desperately trying to get into shape. To you it wouldn't matter what their personalities were actually like, in your narrow-minded view they'd be whores and unworthy simply because they are American. Your heart goes out to them? When any other time you'd have nothing but hatred and contempt for them based on nothing else but their nationality. What a fucking phony. Sociopaths know how to fake human emotion and compassion enough to not raise alarm, but sometimes their sentiment is so glaringly insincere it almost seems like it was written or said by some other person. And predictably, you go on to "understand" and practically sympathize with this inhuman monster. I don't care if there is woman who is wronged by every man she's ever met, I would not try to rationalize and make sense of a cold-hearted killing spree. There is absolutely NO excuse to take human life in such a cruel manner.

I saw another news story about the psycho. He was actually excited and proud to be a murderous bastard. His hatred for American women was frighteningly aparent in his video diaries. So was his unjustified sense of entitlement. He even had a copy of the book "How to date young women for the man over 35". Obviously this man valued youth and beauty above all and felt unjustifiable rage when his admiration didn't garner him the the attention he felt he deserved. Aside from sounding like a raving pyschotic, he seemed devoid of any personality.

I'd like to know who the fuck was George Sodini to play God and decide, because of his own inner turmoil, that innocent people (women) deserved to die? I want to know what was so special about this man (or like minded men) that he deserved to vent his frustration by destroying innocent lives? Why was his desires so much more important than anything else, including human life? So he didn't have a girlfriend, so fucking what? From what I could tell he had a roof over his head and clothes on his back. He had a lot more to be grateful for than a lot of people. There are people who would give anything for their biggest delima to be that they don't have a bf/gf. What a spoiled country we live in when lack of dates is deemed a violence inducing problem. I hate it when I hear about shooting sprees (for obvious reasons), especially when the gunman turns the gun on himself. Pity he couldn't have turned the gun on himself to begin with and spared innocent people their lives and their families heartache. Fuck George Sodini and the selfish, thoughtless, ungrateful, psychotics like him, who strive to be like him, or sympathize with him. Hopefully he is being tormented in Hell.


28. DJ left...
Fri, 08/07/09 11:07 am

"The sad thing is if he had just gone to www.blossoms.com (where the REAL women are), he could have found his soulmate and none of this would have happened. "

And whatever their motivations, the women of 'blossoms' don't deserve to have to put up with a man like this. A man who will kill when he thinks he is not getting/going to get his way. It's like motivational speaker Wayne Dyer says, " When you squeeze and orange you get orange juice, never apple juice. You won't get something out that was never there". If this man didn't have the capacity to heartlessly kill, THEN none of this would have never happened. Nobody should have to spend their life with someone who considers mass murder an option for venting frustration.

And I don't doubt some of the men on the site (or who have like-minded hatred for American women) have considered and/or are capable of such monstous acts.


29. Ali left...
Fri, 08/07/09 11:17 am

But Sophie the same women who say men should be ashamed for picking women based on looks and ability to bear and raise children, etc. seem to be the women who are expecting that men should put up with and accept golddigging.

Another thing is that in this post-feminist era where women are fully capable of contributing to the household (this is not the 1950's after all), owning businesses, getting their education, even running for public office, etc. the old idea that women can't do anything for themselves is erroneous and has been proven false. A grown adult should want to do all they can to contribute to their family, not sit there and expect to be taken care of because they are no longer a child. Only children and the sick or elderly who cannot work and fend for themselves can expect to be taken care of. If you are an able bodied person you have no business sitting there and acting like you need someone to take care of you.

Regardless of how you look or your ability to bear children, etc. you have a responsibility to not be a louse.


30. DJ left...
Fri, 08/07/09 11:37 am

Now Ali, you were front and center to talk about the Australian WOMAN who raped 11 men. Now we have a MAN who has killed 4 people, injured 9 and you have NOTHING to say about it? I bet anything had this been a woman on a senseless killing spree there would already be a thread devoted to it with posts in the double digits by now with you leading the charge. But knowing your tendencies it's no surprise you had zilch to say.


31. The Good Guy left...
Fri, 08/07/09 6:01 pm

From ABC News:

"On a personal blog, George Sodini raged against women who he felt ignored him. "Women just don't like me," he wrote. "There are 30 million desirable women in the U.S. (my estimate) and I cannot find one. Not one of them finds me attractive." It is not known when it was written, but Aug. 4, 2009, Sodini opened fired on a room full of exercising women, killing three. He did not know the victims."

Again, there is no excuse for the cowardly act perpetrated by Mr. Sodini. And yes, my heart goes out to the victims and their families. Violence is NOT the answer to our problems.

It is a shame George Sodini did realize he had other options besides american women. There are plenty of women from countries like the Phillipines, Thailand, Taiwan, and China that may have found George attractive if he corresponded with them. The blossoms.com service has been helping american men and foreign women correspond, marry, and start families since 1976.

If George Sodini had expanded his horizons to include non-american women I am sure he would not have been become so distraught. There was absolutely no reason for him to resort to violence.

I absoluely condemn Mr. Sodini's act of violence.


32. The Good Guy left...
Fri, 08/07/09 6:10 pm

More from ABC News:

"In order to improve his chances with young women, George Sodini enrolled in a three-day instructional class by R. Don Steele, which featured young, beautiful women advising students how to dress for and talk to prospective mates. Sodini can be seen bottom left in a white shirt on this YouTube clip from "The Right Attitude Workshop."

Once again, George Sodini did not understand the problem. It wasn't that he didn't dress right or talk right or have enough swagger. The problem was that he was pursuing american women. Something that for most men in this country has proven time and again to be an exercise in futility.

George Sodini didn't realize he was wasting his time in "workshops" designed to improve a man's chances with entitlement-feminist minded american women who are some of the most difficult women on the face of the earth to establish lasting relationships with. If he had instead reached out to some of the MRA blogs on the internet, he could have realized he would be just fine in his quest to find someone if he simply left american women alone and got a passport and pursued traditional foreign women from overseas. There was no reason for him to shoot anyone.

Again, my heart goes out to the victims and their families. This man went out like a coward.


33. DJ left...
Fri, 08/07/09 6:45 pm

Like I said, even a sociopath knows enough to fake compassion so as not to raise alarm. How heartless would you sound if you skipped the "my heart goes out to the victims" (an empty sentiment coming from someone like you) and went straight for the "this man was wasting his time with American whores" rant? I love the way you are subtely trying to shift the blame from George Sodini to the "30 million American women" who ignored him. I'd love to know what the victims families would think of your theory that these women (and 30 million others) contributed to their own deaths because they were "American whores". I wonder how far you'd get with your fake sympathy and phony compassion.

And why should a foreign girl have to be married to someone who would even THINK mass murder is a viable option? Obviously this man was capable of devastating violence because of his own selfish motivations, who knows what he would have been capable of doing to a poor woman completely at his mercy. A man who can't get a date and goes on a shooting spree, yeah, what a real catch and a gentleman. Millions of people are currently without dates, most of them have enough sense and to not even THINK of mass murder. How about this asshole (Yeah, one of those "I'm just an ignored nice guy" but in actuality one of the most dangerous types of assholes that exist) take accountability for his actions and not blame anyone for what he did but himself? Of course men like you with a grudge against women will try to rationalize and understand what he did, hiding behind the phoniest "condemnation" for his actions. This man killed because he was a psychotic with a sense of entitlement, but of course you'll rationalize that away to shift the blame to "American whores". To someone like you who sees women as second class citizens, your response is no surprise.