Find out what to do -- and why -- before giving up on an antidepressant.

By Kelli Miller Stacy

WebMD Feature Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

Antidepressants are designed to boost mood and relieve sadness, but for some patients, their side effects fuel another emotion: frustration. Just ask Maryland resident Jane Niziol. Her doctor prescribed Paxil after a difficult breakup left her feeling depressed and overwhelmed. Niziol recalls the medicine calmed her mood. "Suddenly I didn't care about anything."

http://www.webmd.com/depression/features/antidepressants-take-time-to-work-time-to-quit?ecd=wnl_dep_112009

New Book Reveals the Real Reason Women Have Sex

For every woman expecting the earth to move, there are two with more practical motives.

From relieving boredom, to keeping the peace or curing a headache, women have sex for many reasons, but romance and passion come rather low on the list, a new book has revealed.

One woman even admitted to having sex just so her husband would take the trash out.

"Research has shown most men find most women at least somewhat sexually attractive, whereas most women do not find men sexually attractive at all," said the authors of Why Women Have Sex, Cindy Meston and David Buss.

Women and Depression, Part I

Why women suffer from depression more than men.

Life is full of ups and downs, but when the down times last for weeks or months at a time, or keep you from living a "normal" life, you may be suffering from depression. Depression is a medical illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts. It affects the way you eat and sleep, the way you feel about yourself, and the way you think.

http://www.baltimoresun.com/health/women/sns-health-women-and-depression,0,1866541.story

How To Be A Lover Who Really Inspires And Satisfies A Woman

Have you ever wished that you could be the kind of lover who really inspires and satisfies your woman?

Great news...husbands are able to become a better lover and when you become aware of how a woman naturally makes love then you too will become a better lover who inspires and satisfies your wife.

Let me help you increase your awareness...

A man's approach to making love is very linear. It's very sequential. It's very direct. It's a straight line from start to finish that looks something like this:

1. At the moment of opportunity...

2. Express interest in sex...

3. Engage in just enough foreplay for the woman to lubricate...

4. Intercourse...

5. Orgasm...

6. Clean up...

7. Go to sleep or head off to do some work.

Left to his own devices, this is pretty much how a man would do it starting with about his second or third sexual encounter and continuing until his last sexual encounter.

This is precisely why so many women are uninspired by their man and dissatisfied with his performance as a lover.

Now, let's look at a woman's approach to making love. A woman's approach is very NON-linear. It's NON-sequential. It's iterative. It's a blend of direct and indirect. It's a looping process that repeatedly brushes through many different components such as:

A) Sexuality

B) Loving connection

C) Conversation

D) Shared activity

E) Physical touch

F) Emotional touch

G) Foreplay

H) etc.

And, somewhere in this looping process all of the same things happen that happens in a man's linear model.

The difference from a woman's point of view is that the contrasting stimulation spread out over time and the tease of moving away and then coming closer and the difference between the physical and the emotional and silence complimenting the conversation all merge together to create an inspiring, fulfilling, satisfying form of intimacy that REALLY WORKS for a woman.

And so, the man who wishes to be a better lover need only broaden his perspective of making love and embrace more of an iterative, looping approach that so inspires and satisfies a woman.

Ok, consider this...now that I've pointed this out to you, you recognize that this is true. You can look back at examples in your personal history with your woman and recognize the pattern I've described in your woman's behavior, can you not? And amazingly, it didn't ever "click" until you just now read this, right?

And I'm wondering just how many other "secrets" like this one that you haven't recognized or become aware of yet – and I'm sharing them with men from all over the world. I'm also wondering, do you recognize opportunities for getting more of what you want when they confront you...like right now?

by Tasche 

I've been called many things: dyke, man-hater and — my favorite — feminazi. Yet I don't spell women "womyn," I don't shave my head, I wear skirts, and I'm heterosexual. So why are these terms being tossed at me?

It could be because I took women's studies courses in college. I also belonged to Boston University's Women's Center, marched at Take Back the Night rallies on campus and at young feminist rallies in Washington, D.C. and volunteered with a women's lobbyist group. I believe women and men are equal, and should be treated as such.

Surely, that means I hate men. It's a common notion that feminists are weenie-whacking wackos, and that women's studies classes are cult-like gatherings where women learn to regulate their menstrual cycles with that of the moon. Whatever.

Women's studies classes changed my life — for the better — and were perhaps the most useful classes I took in college. They didn't prepare me for any sort of career and they didn't make me a man hater. They just made me realize I'm a feminist, and that feminism wasn't what I thought it was.

I had to take my first WS class to fulfill an extracurricular requirement. On our first day the professor, Dianne Balser — one of the leaders of the women's movement in Boston — asked who among us considered ourselves feminists. Maybe five girls raised their hands; I was not one of them. I thought feminism had to do with being "anti-male." But, as I quickly learned, feminism is not about one gender being better than the other. It's about believing that women and men should be equal.

In my life I never felt hindered by my gender, so I never understood the I'm-not-going-to-shave-my-
armpits-until-our-wages-are-equal mentality. But I did know that I learned history from a white, male perspective. And I knew a lot of things about our society made me angry: not being able to walk home by myself after dark, Cosmo magazine, a government filled with aging, white men. Only I never really knew how to express my anger, how to support my arguments so I didn't sound like an obnoxious freak when I complained.

Women's studies classes made me realize how politics actually affected my life — and they made me want to get involved. My professors inspired me to look at how I viewed my place in society with regards to my gender and showed me how to stick up for myself. WS classes were a place where women — and yes, sometimes men — gathered who had the same ultimate agenda: achieving equality. But that doesn't mean we were all hardcore socialists ready to violently overthrow the government. It just meant we were thoughtful people.

Before WS, I felt that anyone who thought men and women should be treated unequally were stupid. And I still feel that way — only now I have proof to back it up. I can hold my own in any argument on women's issues. I have facts, statistics, anecdotes and legislative proof that women have been systematically oppressed by society. I always said I was a liberal, but I now I really know why.

All women's studies classes do is ask you to look at how our society works, and to pay attention to the role that gender plays within it. Classes that focus on women — and women's experiences — give you a chance to learn something from a different perspective than mainstream education allows.

Why is this important? It teaches you about the world and the way it works, about the inequities present in our day-to-day lives. Why is it that women can't walk safely across campus at night? Why is it that a man can rape you and still remain in school playing football, but if your school has enough guts to take a tough stance against sexual harassment it's deemed "anti-male" by Men's Health Magazine? Why is it that my alma mater, Boston University, still doesn't have a rape crisies hotline? Why is it that so many women hate their thighs (or butts, or arms, or stomachs?) Why is it that so many women are insecure? Women's studies classes help you understand these issues.

The biggest argument I hear against women's studies programs usually comes in the form of a question: "What the hell are you going to do with that?" No, you're not going to find many classified ads looking for women's studies majors to take up high-ranking positions in major corporations. But there are a lot of companies looking for intelligent people who know about the world and can hold their own in a conversation.

Face it, most of the classes you take in college are not going to directly help you get a job. The point of college isn't to learn a trade, it's to become a more intelligent, well-rounded person. And, of course, to learn that men are the root of all evil.

http://www.ehow.com/how_5603800_land-hottie-youre-not.html?utm_source=eHOD&utm_medium=email&utm_content=5603800&utm_campaign=17_11_2009

http://www.ehow.com/how_5603908_reform-party-boy.html?utm_source=eHOD&utm_medium=email&utm_content=5603908&utm_campaign=15_11_2009

John

#1. Raising your voice and using strong emotional tones: Being accusing, mocking, or sarcastic. Try to stay unemotional and resist these temptations.

#2. Using rhetorical questions like, How could you say something like that?” Try instead to express what you do like and accept. For example, “I understand and agree with that, but…”

#3. Making generalized complaints rather than giving specifics: “We never spend time together,” or “You’re not doing the things that you said you would do.” In general men do not respond to the abstract as well as the specific. Give examples of what he has done if you want to be heard. Give direction with such comments as, “Let’s plan a date to go out this week.”

#4. Expecting him to respond like a woman instead of a man. Saying such things to a man as “Why can’t you speak from your heart?” or, “You’re not opening up to me?” ignores the realities of basic Mars/Venus differences. Try instead to address a man as a man with comments like, “I understand that it is difficult for you to open up about this,” or, “I know you want to solve the problem, but right now I just need you to hear me.”

#5. Bringing up old issues to make your point. Don’t muddy the waters with past arguments and points of disagreement. Stay with the issue you are dealing with at the moment otherwise you run the risk of having your partner turning off his hearing all together.

#6. Comparing him to another man or how he acted in the past. This totally confuses a man. Comments like, “You used to be so much more affectionate,” gain no traction in the male mind. Try instead to make a positive statement and give him a model of behavior you want him to follow. For example, “I love it when you….”

#7. Expecting your partner to make you feel good, rather than taking the responsibility to feel good on your own. In this case a woman says something like, “Well that doesn’t make me feel any better.” Try instead to say, “I think I’ll take some time for myself and go play some tennis, or do some shopping, or take a walk.”

#8. Going on about a point of disagreement without giving your partner the opportunity to express his point of view. These are the times when your mate feels like he is facing a tsunami of issues without having a chance to stand up and explain things from his perspective. You’re never going to come to a satisfactory conclusion in any argument until both sides feel they have had a chance to express themselves.

A suspicious wife posed as a teenager online to catch her husband propositioning girls in a chatroom, Cardiff Crown Court has heard.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/wales/8357454.stm

Lately, almost every story that is deemed “newsworthy” is about corruption, murder, insanity, or scandal. If anyone were to view the news reels from this era in the future, I strongly feel they would think we’re just a large bunch of angry, murderous thugs who were out to destroy the world and play with dogs from the SPCA once a week. Most news networks claim to carry the “news you want.” Where is our want in this? Do we want to hear of a famous pop star’s death for weeks on end? Do we want live coverage of Paris Hilton ordering a film crew to have live lobsters for her on demand? Read more:

http://www.lockergnome.com/swordofdestiny/2009/11/14/how-does-news-make-you-feel/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=email

Tried-and-true strategies you can borrow from your parents' marriage to enhance your own.

By Suzanne Wright

WebMD Feature Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

Would you take relationship tips from your grandfather or your mom to make your marriage happier?

Modern married couples just might do well to emulate some of the successful strategies of their happily married parents and grandparents -- from sleeping in separate beds to maintaining same-sex friends.

http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/modern-love-8/retro-tips?ecd=wnl_sxr_111409

As communication becomes faster and more ubiquitous is it helping or hurting the world of dating?

by eHarmony Staff

It's like a science fiction movie -- a technology meant to help mankind gone mad. You meet online. You exchange emails. You have a call, and often before you even have your first date, your relationship gets stuck in the text lane. Random and short messages that seem to promise a connection or at least a face-to-face meeting…never…seem…to…work…out.

http://advice.eharmony.com/?page=articles/view&AID=2506&cid=dash&aid=1001

Mistakes Men Make in a Fight

John

#1. Raising your voice or becoming cold, sharp, or distant in tone. Men can care so much about being right that they don’t realize that their tone can sound uncaring from a woman’s point of view. Men often sound threatening and overwhelming when angry. Just being aware of your tone can make a difference in the direction of a fight.

#2. Making condescending comments like, "Don’t worry about it," or "it’s not a big deal." Instead of acknowledging her feelings, is a mistake most men make repeatedly.

#3. Interrupting her with arguments to invalidate her feelings or correct her observations. A typical comment would be "You shouldn’t feel that way." Instead of taking time to reflect and saying something like, "I understand you think that…"

#4. Expressing frustration with the pace of the argument. This is when a man will say in frustration, "Why do we have to go over this again and again." A better approach is for a man to say, "I have to take a time out so I can better absorb what it is you are saying."

#5. Offering solutions rather than asking more questions. This goes back to the classic Mr. Fix-It. This is such a common pattern for men: rather than listening, they will offer solutions. He might think he is being helpful, but to her, he is simply being dismissive.

#6. Having to get in the final word. Whatever she says, her man comes back with, "So once again everything has to be the way, everything you want to be such a big deal." Statements like these often stem from a male’s sense of frustration that his partner has more accomplished verbal skills. Getting in the final word is simply taking a verbal swipe that says, "I refuse to let you think that you have one this argument."

#7. Tit for tat. When she complains, you raise her complaint with more complaints of your own. Chalk it up to a man’s competitive nature, but in truth, it’s no way to make peace and move beyond your argument.

#8. Giving in to what she wants, but with the message that you are doing so even though she is being unreasonable. No real way to make peace either. All this approach will accomplish is to set both of you up for Argument Part 2, Part 3, and so on.

The Policy of Radical Honesty

Honesty and Openness is one of the ten most important emotional needs identified in marriage, which means that when it's met, it can trigger the feeling of love. But it's counterpart, dishonesty, is one of the five most destructive Love Busters. When spouses are dishonest, they destroy the love they have for each other.

But there is a third reason that honesty is crucial in marriage. Honesty is the only way that you and your spouse will ever come to understand each other. Without honesty, the adjustments that are crucial to the creation of compatibility in your marriage cannot be made. Without honesty, your best efforts to resolve conflicts will be wasted because you will not understand each other well enough to find mutually acceptable solutions.

Most couples do the best they can to make each other happy, at least for a while. But their efforts, however sincere, are often misdirected. They aim at the wrong target. Ignorance, not lack of effort, is often the most important cause of their ultimate downfall.

Couples are not only ignorant of ways to improve their marriages; they are often ignorant of the problems themselves. To avoid conflict, they sometimes deliberately misinform each other as to their feelings, personal history, activities, and plans. This not only leads to a failure to meet an important emotional need, and a withdrawal of love units when the deception is discovered, it also makes marital conflicts impossible to resolve. After all, how can you and your spouse solve a problem if your cards are not on the table?

To help you understand how honest you need to be to have a successful marriage, I have written the Policy of Radical Honesty. I call it "radical" because that's how many see my position on the subject. But I view my policy as simply advocating complete honesty in marriage. In our culture I guess that's a radical idea.

The Policy of Radical Honesty
Reveal to your spouse as much
information about yourself as you know;
your thoughts, feelings, habits, likes,
dislikes, personal history, daily activities,
and plans for the future.

To help explain this policy, I have broken it down into four parts:

1. EMOTIONAL HONESTY: Reveal your emotional reactions, both positive and negative, to the events of your life, particularly to your spouse's behavior.

2. HISTORICAL HONESTY: Reveal information about your personal history, particularly events that demonstrate personal weakness or failure.

3. CURRENT HONESTY: Reveal information about the events of your day. Provide your spouse with a calendar of your activities, with special emphasis on those that may affect your spouse.

4. FUTURE HONESTY: Reveal your thoughts and plans regarding future activities and objectives.

To some extent this policy seems like motherhood and apple pie. Who would argue that it's not a good idea to be honest? But in my years of experience as a marriage counselor, I have constantly struggled with the belief of many clients that dishonesty can be a good idea under certain conditions. Moreover, pastors and counselors themselves often advise dishonesty when a spouse has committed a particularly thoughtless act, such as infidelity. And many marital therapists warn against complaining, something that some consider one of the seven deadly sins of marriage. So instead of complaining, spouses often stuff their feelings and try to put a good face on a bad situation.

Granted, dishonesty can be a good short-term solution to marital conflict. It will probably get you off the hook for a few days or months or keep the problem on the back burner. But it's a terrible long-term solution. If you expect to live with each other for the next few years and still be in love, dishonesty can get you into a great deal of trouble.

Because there are so many out there who advocate dishonesty in marriage, I will describe the four parts of my Policy of Radical Honesty, and explain to you why I think they are so important in marriage.

Six Biggest Mistakes Women Make with Men

1. Women act like mothers and treat men like children.
2. Women sacrifice who they are and put themselves second in importance to the man they're attracted to.
3. Women are attracted to with a man’s potential.
4. Women cover up their excellence and competence.
5. Women give up their power.
6. Women act like little girls to get what they want from a man.

Barbara DeAngelis

Adam

Okay, so I met this girl one night while out with a few friends, and we hit it off extremely well. We had tons in common, easily held conversations, made each other laugh, all the ice-breaker qualities that I look for in a girl. Only one problem, though. She's in a rocky relationship at the time. So....one night when she was out at a casino with her boyfriend drinking alone at the bar while he gambled with his friends, she texts me and tells me how much she wishes we were dating instead of her current boyfriend. I realize she's probably drunk and tell her that I'll support whatever decision she makes either to stay with him or to break it off because it's not working. But.....at the same time, I told her that I won't make any advances toward her while she's in a relationship, more than anything because if we ever started dating, I wouldn't want her to do the same thing to me with some other guy. (That, and I've been cheated on before and it's quite possibly the shittiest feeling in the world) Anyway, she breaks up with him a few weeks later, we're still good friends, I'm still interested, and she won't tell me face to face that she's not. Instead, she recommends other girls that I should be dating, so yea, I get the message. And just yesterday, after being single for an ENTIRE week and a half, starts dating another friend of mine. I'm totally okay with that, but she lies to me when I ask her what she's doing that night and tells me she's staying in. I understand that we're better off friends, but please, friends don't lie to each other.

I know that guys in relationships sometimes lie to their girl about small things that they don't think will matter, (I'm guilty, I know) such as telling her that you're going to run a few errands in town while you're really at the bar with your friends. I don't know why we do it, maybe it's because a little white lie is easier than a possible argument between couples over something as petty as an occasional guys' night. I just want to know, are women the same way? I admit that I would be hurt if I found out that my girlfriend was lying to me if i was in a relationship depending on the severity of the lie, but how do women assess this type of situation?