Beautiful women want confident MEN... 528

<<Beautiful women want confident MEN...not IMMATURE little boys.>>

Do beautiful women confuse jerks with confident genually good MEN and end up in a world of hurt?

YES, YES and......YES

As these women grow up and mature, they may see through the jerks' underlying insecurity, but they definately don't want the nice guys.

They never did and never will.

I for one want a confident, mature woman, not one of these little girls hell-bent on chasing every jerk she can find. And not all beautiful women are what I would call confident at all. They know that simply by virtue of their looks they'll have a steady stream of guys after them. But some will still be very insecure about their physical beauty.

Beautiful women want confident MEN...not IMMATURE little boys.

While there's nothing intrinsically wrong to desire the very pinnacle of any ideal, women drop the ball in this instance in their appraisal of who they deem confident & unconfident, not to mention their own sense of confidence. Women often use faulty and irrelevant criteria to gauge confident. "Testing" for instance, is one such example. Women will instigate or assess situations while associating with men in order to gauge confidence. Everyone will react in any given instance differently, the reactions may be similar but there'll be at least one different reaction from someone. The reactions may or not be positive and are by no means an absolute description of someone's character. Women often make inaccurate assessments of confidence because of their penchant for "testing" or by having to the ability to call in favors, gifts, etc. from the man in question, even at the risk of their own well-being. "Testing" also carries over into platonic relationships/acquaintances too as they will manipulate these types of people too and wrongly deem them as "soft" because they are able to get away with deception because the man has let his defenses down. These facts play into women everywhere, but are exponentially blown up in the cases of exceptionally beautiful women. Women of this ilk also have the same weakness as many average women do: lack of confidence. Just read or watch an interview with a model, actress, or any celebrity. These women at least 85%-90% of the time always say this exact statement, paraphrase it, or allude to this statement: "I want a confident man. If he isn't/can't stand up for himself, then how can he stand up for me?" If she was truly such a pillar of mental fortitude, then why would somebody like this look for and expect others to provide protection, mental or otherwise. Simple, they aren't confident themselves! Men really shouldn't beat themselves up over people like this, because they're as fucked up, if not more so, than "men who lack confidence/weak men" are. These women's, as is the case of the majority of women, base their "confidence" on how far out of their way a man will go to curry favor in an attempt to show their interest in them. These women's worlds, as would most women, would be destroyed if men didn't bend over backwards for them. That's how we have the Halle Berrys of the celeb world. For all the beauty that they have, they constantly get hit on by winners and losers, but they always drop winners for losers. Sure these guys may give them the fuck of the century, but are always in the public eye looking like lonely fools.

Salvador Escobar

***FREE POST***

Women want everything that you can and CAN'T give them...period. The confidence factor comes on wether or not can a man handle your sexy or not....get it right, get it tight, or don't give a fuck...enough said.

BOBBY DANGEROUS!

There are women who are legitimately fooled into thinking a jerk was really a confident mature guy...and then there are those women who aren't fooled at all. They know what the jerks is and what a relationship with him will entail and they STILL bite, hoping that it will somehow magically work out this time.

Some of them even may think that the only recipe for a man that is up their alley comes in the form of a guy with jerk qualities. This is often an erroneous idea though. Because you don't have to be a jerk to have confidence in yourself. You don't have to be a jerk to turn a (sane)woman on. You don't have to be a jerk to BE A REAL MAN, and do a lot of things women would rather see from a guy. And the women who have let themselves mature and grow into their own common sense understand this.

BTW, most jerks are neither truly confident or mature, but arrogant and adolescent-minded. This will be evident in how they treat the many women they have fooled. It really ain't too hard to tell.

"If all men crave is a beautiful girl in thier bedroom"

Who said that was all we wanted? Doesn't hurt, but a woman's beauty by itself doesn't necessarally do much unless all the guy is interested in is sex and/or a trophy on his arm. And if that's the case maybe he deserves equal ammount of superficiality from her as well.

Good men want cooperative women not immature little girls.

"And if that's the case maybe he deserves equal ammount of superficiality from her as well. "

Ali:

Exactly if you are only looking for beauty and youth then expect shallowness, insecurity and intense emotional DRAMA. Expect intense fights, breakups, and jealousy. Expect broken promises, immaturity and games. Expect your heart to be broken.....expect to be played. Expect her to leave you for a "bad boy" because you cant meet her needs.....

Most people who get by on just their looks are usually as Mikki described, and unfortunately are the most desirable and lead to the most bitter feelings.

Yeah Miki but i wish that was only the case with the "BEAUTIFUL" women, then guys would know who to avoid. Unfortunately, she doesn't have to be "beautiful" to do the things you mentioned. So looks are a poor indicator of whether or not someone will subscribe to a particular behavior. Rather, once you see that they're prone to acting up you should be ready to ship out. The same goes for women who deal with immature little boy behavior in their men. If you can't tell by looking, you damn sure can tell when you get your first few whiffs of foul from them. But the paradox is why do some people stay despite that? Probably because they value the person's beauty/swagger/sexiness/etc. Well these folks get what they stay for, the whole shebang for better or worse.

"Yeah Miki but i wish that was only the case with the "BEAUTIFUL" women, then guys would know who to avoid."

This can also apply to "HANDSOME" men. It's not just the good looking ones who can be self-centered or jerks.

" So looks are a poor indicator of whether or not someone will subscribe to a particular behavior"

But looks can be a good indicator as to whether or not someone will be able to get away with it, what is tolerated from a good looking person isn't usually isn't tolerated for as long (or sometimes at all) from a less attractive person. This goes for relationships as well as other aspects of life, like employment, for example.

I keep saying it time and time again. Trends and beauty are not the same thing.

Barring ill health and/or severe defects, it doesn't actually take much to be beautiful as in physically attractive. Most people have the basic equipment.

If one wants to be trendy these days, all they really need to do is be skinny. That's really not as difficult as people make it seem...just burn more calories than you consume. The drawback is the suffering and self inflicted deprivation involved. Those who don't likely instinctively sense that trends aren't worth suffering that much for on purpose.

...but a healthy person with good grooming habits, whatever weight within reason, is going to be beautiful, regardless of what the trends are. Whether their beauty is recognized by the media is only relevent to hard core sheeple. Everybody else is about survival, and can talk all the trash they like. In the end, the face they want to look at when they're shagging is one who's looking back at them with enthusiasm.

Even people who do have some relatively severe defects are still beautiful. There's just something about a person who insists on surviving, or who has survival skills that enable them to live well against the physical and social odds. Strength/power is very attractive.

Looks do matter...just not in the overly simplistic way that some folks think. So looks are not really a good gauge for either what someone does or what someone can get away with in a relationship.

One still has to watch their behavior.

More relevent in mate selection is not what is considered beautiful, but what is considered feminine or masculine. Individual differences in gender, perceptions of gender roles, and personal needs, gives each one a basic profile of what they are looking for in a partner. Even in same sex couples people are still looking for a partner who they feel balances them. In polyamorous families, there is also a sort of balancing. New partners are more or less attractive based on balance, and not simply that they are attractive to the couple as individuals.

So a woman need not be a "10" to get away with all kinds of skullf*ckery with her partner. He just needs to perceive her as his personal ideal feminine counterpart...vise versa with men's antics.

Neither of my jerks could be described as a handsome man by media standards. What they were though is independent thinkers who sold out, got broken, and became jerks. I was like a sort of a "vacation" from psychosexual pablum for them. Both have apologized for their behavior.

The reason their games worked with women other than me, was not because they were beautiful, but because they have some true and some false ideally masculine traits. They appear not to fear women at all, and are civil and polite, and even chivalrous at times, but not pushovers.

A guy doesn't have to be a jerk to get over a fear of women, or rather rejection by women. It also doesn't take a loss of integrity to not be a pushover.

Wise words Mamasan.

"Yeah Miki but i wish that was only the case with the "BEAUTIFUL" women, then guys would know who to avoid."

Yes, it hard to tell a person persona first off. They might appear sweet and kind, even considerate but sometimes they have underlying personality problems that are not easily detected. It usually takes time and a keen insight to find thier motivation. Some are afraid of commitment, some lack trust in others....some are afraid of any emotional involvement. Unfortunately, sometimes we find out thier personality flaws when its too late, and we have given our time, trust and love....guess its just part of the lesson we learn.

Perhaps instead of blaming another for thier characters flaws.....look inside yourself to see what YOU were attracted to this type of personality. If you always attract needy, helpless or insecure women...ask yourself why? Why do you always attract women who you know will hurt you? If you always attract "cocky" emotional distant or domineering guys" then ask yourself why you continue choosing this type.....karma states that we will continue to attract the same type of people in our lives who challenge or hurt us, until we learn our lesson.

Kiki sometimes it's as simple as this: you probably have something they want. And they will trick you in order to get it from you if they feel they have to. Like I always say you have to learn to see thru a person to understand their real motives or you're likely to end up believing their lies. You won't learn a thing if you remain naive to what people are capable of though. So some ammount of skepticism and common sense is necessary. Maybe the clues were subtle, or maybe they were even obvious. But they were still there in one form or another. You have to be paying attention if you expect to learn anything.

Another thing is that people who are willing to give the most are often targeted the most, because they are seen as easy marks to be taken advantage of. This is a damn shame though because the exploiters seek to penalize you simply for being a good person. "Because he/she is nice they will help me out if I just have the right sob story" They play on your sympathy and pull on your heart strings. And in those situations your greatest asset (actually having a heart) can be turned into your most exploitable weakness. As unfair and low down dirty as this is we cannot afford to be naive and think that it can't happen to us simply because we try to be good to people.

Also it seems as if people tend to make excuses for the people they like or are attracted to, and excuses against the people they don't like or aren't attracted to. Perhaps more objectivity will help us see more clearly what's going on and what should be done.

"Another thing is that people who are willing to give the most are often targeted the most, because they are seen as easy marks to be taken advantage of."

This is so true, unfortunately some of the nicest and generous people are victimized the most. However it is our choices that make us who we are. Ive been burned time and time again by people who use me, or take advantage of my kindness, but it has not stopped me from having empathy and compassion towards another. Although i have been disappointed by others, i still would not change my personality because i have been hurt. What comes around goes around and the people who have hurt us, will eventually become hurt themselves. It helps to try and understand that different people react in different ways to pain....some escape, some deny, some stike back with violence, some blame others......if someone hurts you, try to understand the reason they are doing that.....

"Kiki sometimes it's as simple as this: you probably have something they want. And they will trick you in order to get it from you if they feel they have to."

Ali:

Its good to be cautious and skeptical with others but another thing to be so paranoid or aloof that you appear cold, detached and angry....if you mistrust everyone you meet, and carry a giant chip on your shoulder...you become cynical and bitter, and people pick up on that vibe......

"Its good to be cautious and skeptical with others but another thing to be so paranoid or aloof that you appear cold, detached and angry....if you mistrust everyone you meet, and carry a giant chip on your shoulder...you become cynical and bitter, and people pick up on that vibe......"

Very well put Kiki.

"I've been burned time and time again by people who use me, or take advantage of my kindness, but it has not stopped me from having empathy and compassion towards another."

It's not supposed to stop you from having compassion toawards others, it's supposed to make you wise to the tricks that end up burning you so you can see and smell bullshit before it hits the fan.

"if someone hurts you, try to understand the reason they are doing that....."

What part of understanding their reasons says that you have to stand there and let them hurt you again and again? There is a such thing as removing yourself from the situation in which you find yourself being exploited or used...understand them if you must but you can do so in such a way that they can't continually hurt you, can't you? How many times do we want to fall for the same thing over and over again in the name of "understanding" somebody? Tell me, why would that be neccessary or advisable? How does that help you, how much sense does that make? Again, be a good person if that's your inkling but what part of being a good person says that you are required to be somebody's doormat? Turn the other cheek if you feel you should but next time don't forget to duck. Lol.

"Its good to be cautious and skeptical with others but another thing to be so paranoid or aloof that you appear cold, detached and angry....if you mistrust everyone you meet, and carry a giant chip on your shoulder...you become cynical and bitter, and people pick up on that vibe......"

...and the exploiters and users move on to more gullible and easier marks. I'm not advocating being skeptical and cautious w/ *everybody* but when you start seeing signs that something is not right with a particular person that's when something should start clicking. Do you want to move before the disaster strikes you or do you want to remain in the line of fire like a sitting duck? Hopefully at some point we learn to move our asses out of the way when we see trouble coming. If not, we'll be repeatedly going thru the same mess again.