A man's emotional straightjacket 605

Dr George Wienberg

Speaking for men generally let me say that it isn’t strictly our fault that we tend to be in the dark about many of our true feelings. We have been limited by our Masculine Pretense –a pretense that has been imposed on us since childhood. During childhood we were trained for worldly success, which required being rational and forceful. We would become athletes or businessmen, or professionals at something. We were not encouraged to know ourselves emotionally. In fact, we were taught that feelings get in the way.

Think about the emotional straightjacket that we men have been placed in. You as a girl were permitted to be indecisive or frightened. If you truly had no experience at something, you were allowed to look inexperienced. If someone criticism hurt you could say so. You could cry if you felt like it. If someone didn’t invite you to a party and you felt bad; you could show it on your face. If someone complements you could glow. You were even encouraged to be emotive. As a woman you were expected to feel things deeply. During these same early years, the man in your life was being sent a very different direction. His goal was to become strong, independent, and not needy. He was taught not to show his emotion, to discount his feelings and "get on with it", to do what had to be done without ever letting joy or dismay absorb him.

From the book: "Why Men won't Commit

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